Happy June 23rd!

This may or may not seem like the strangest post I've ever written. But I really feel like I just need to get it out...

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world today! I have an awesome family, amazing friends, 2 great jobs, a beautiful house, and literally everything a girl could realistically want. I am sooo freaking blessed, but I'll come back to that. This next part is where you're all gonna think I have lost it...

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for Billy today. It was 2 years ago today that he left, and a week or so after that a good friend said to me "one day you will look back on this experience and be glad" yep, I was pissed, I thought "how could you ever say that, he is my husband and my life is over". But, I had no idea how right she was! I have learned so much, and grown more in the last 2 years than I ever thought was possible. Because of Billy leaving I have met people I never would have met that have changed my life, done things I never even dreamed I could, I have become a person who is truly proud of myself and the independence I have gained, and strengthened other relationships that will hold a special place in my heart. I will be forever grateful to him for that. But more than that I am so grateful for the friends and family who sat with me when I was devastated that my life was over, got me out of the house when all I wanted to do was lay in bed all day, gave me books that helped them, gave great advice, shared inspiring songs, told me stories, let me vent, made me laugh when all I could do was cry, held my hand and encouraged me to move on, and validated every feeling I have had good or not. I am grateful for the incredible people I have met at Thanksgiving Point, and I am so blessed to have a job that I love so much. I love all of the amazing women I have met working at Amara and so blessed to have great clients who listened to my venting and still kept coming back. I would not change a single thing about this journey.

I literally thank God everyday for my life… I am so lucky. I know life isn’t always easy and it can always get worse, but from the “worse” there is so much to learn and amazing experiences to have. For the last 2 years I haven’t been the kind of friend, daughter, sister, or person I ultimately want to be, I haven’t said thank you enough, returned calls, taken care of others, or been there when I should be. But just know I love all of you, and I am finally in a place where being better at all of that is going to be easier. I know this all sounds like a big mushy gooey rant but I really just felt like I needed to share these feelings today. I am so glad that I am finally having days when I wake up and smile, I fully attribute that to each of you. I will never be able to fully express in words the gratitude I feel for you and your love and support.

Thanks for indulging in my “testimony moment”, I am glad you all didn’t see me sob like a baby the whole time I wrote it.

I LOVE YOU!!!